Songfictoendallsongfics
by theguywhohasaname
Summary: Midnight in Montgomery, Sandman, Hotel California, Bubba Shot The Jukebox, I Feel Lucky, and Down At The Twist And Shout + Gundam Wing. Need I say more?


Er... Just... Here! Read this!  
  
Duo pulled up in Heero's driveway. "Heh... Bet he isn't expecting me... Or anyone else for that matter, but, still. It's New Years Eve, I figure somebody should at least talk to the guy." Duo said with a grin as he got off of his motorcycle. "Should I? Nah... I'd really rather NOT die." Duo muttered to himself as he walked towards the front door. "Friend, it's good to see you..." A voice said from behind Duo. "What?" Duo asked, confused, as he turned around to face the speaker. "Quatre?!" Duo asked. "It's nice to know you care." Quatre said, and then he turned around and ran... Smacking into Duo's motorcycle, which made it fall over. "Quatre! Are you okay?" Duo asked, staring at Quatre, who, oddly enough, was dressed up like a cowboy.  
  
Then the wind picked up, and Quatre vanished into thin air, singing a haunting tune... "AH! Was he ever really there?" Duo asked as he heard a clock chime twelve times. "'Cause it's Midnight in Montgomery!" Then Duo heard a whippoorwill. He looked up, for some reason or another, and saw a bunch of overly-bright stars lighting up the purple sky. "Midnight in Montgomery? Is he always singing here?" Duo wondered, and then he shrugged it off and walked up to Heero's door.  
  
Duo knocked on Heero's door, and a few moments later, Heero opened it. "Duo? What are you doing here? Especially at Midnight..." Then a Midnight train slowly passed by, the whistling blowing loudly. Duo and Heeo clutched at their ears, feeling so lonesome they could cry. "WHIPPOORWILL!" A passing Whippoorwill screeched once the train had passed. They both saw the overly-bright stars lighting up the sky as they fell to the ground. "When the wind is right, you'll hear his song, and smell whiskey in the air..." Heero told Duo. "You mean Quatre?" Duo asked. "Yeah."  
  
"It's Midnight in Montgomery." Heero informed Duo. "He's always singing here." "He's always singing here?" Duo questioned. "Quatre's always singing here." Heero replied. Duo sighed, and the two boys stood up. "Aint it foggy outside?" Duo asked. "Yeah..." Heero replied. "Aint the fire inside? Let's all go stand around it!" Duo suggested, and they walked inside. "Heero, I've been there... You've been here... We aint had no time to drink that beer." Duo said meaningfully. "What? What do you mean?" Heero asked. "Well I understand you've been running from a man that goes by the name of the Sandman."  
  
Heero nodded his head. "He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that's abandoned..." Duo shrugged. "Aint the years gone by fast?" He asked. "I suppose you have missed them..." Heero noted. "I almost forgot to ask... Did you hear of my enlistment?" He added. "Heero I've been there... You've been here... We aint had no time to drink that beer." Heero nodded his head. "Yeah. If it wasn't for me running from that man that goes by the name of the Sandman... You know, the one that flies the sky like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that's abandoned?"  
  
Duo grinned at Heero. "Well... You know... You could always just say 'screw the enlistment', and forget about the Sandman, and we could..." Duo slapped a hand over his mouth. "I mean... You could..." Heero raised an eyebrow. "We could what?" Duo gaped at Heero. "You mean you'd actually consider doing something with me?" Heero shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it's New Years Day, I've got nothing better to do... So sure." Duo grinned. "Um... Could we go on a road trip?" Duo asked, hoping against hope. ".... I don't see why not. I don't have anything planned for a while." The two boys grinned, Heero packed, and then they took Heero's stuff and Duo's stuff from the motorcycle to Heero's car. "Alright, let's go!" Duo said, grinning.  
  
***  
  
On a long desert highway, the cool wind blew through their hair. (it was a convertible) There was a warm smell of colitas rising up through the air. Up ahead in the distance, they saw a shimmering light. Their heads grew heavy and their sight went grew dim, so they decided to stop for the night. Relena stood in   
the doorway, and they heard a mission bell. Just about at that moment, Duo spoke up and said "This could be heaven or this could be hell..." Heero blinked at him. "What do you mean?" "Well, Relena's here, so ti could be hell... But if you fe..." Duo cut himself off. "Never mind..."  
  
Then Relena lit up a candle, and she showed them the way. Heero heard some voices from the corridor, and thought he heard some of them say "Welcome to the Hotel California. Such a lovely place..." and then, as Relena passed by, "Such an ugly face."  
  
"Plenty of room at the Hotel California. Any time of year... Any time of year... Oops, I repeated myself, sorry. Any time of year, you can find it here..." After they passed the voices, Relena began giggling and making sexual advances towards Heero. "Her mind is Tiffany twisted..." Duo muttered. "She's got the Mercedes bends..." Then Relena giggled at Heero again. "I've got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, but they're just friends. We all dance in the courtyard, for some unknown reason. Sweet summer sweat!" Duo rolled his eyes and continued muttering to himself. "Some dance to remember, some dance to forget..."  
  
Once in their room, Duo called up the captain, to bring him some kind of strong alcohol. He said "We aint got none o' that thar spirits, aint had none since 1969. GUNDAMMIT! Still, those voices are calling from far away!" Duo quickly hung up the phone. The voices got to Duo, and woke him up in the middle of the night. He swore he heard them say "welcome to the Hotel California. Such a lovely place, such a lovely place, such a lovely place... Hey, an echo! An echo! An echo! Such a lovely face... They're livin' it up at the Hotel California. What a nice surprise... What a nice surprise... What a nice surprise... Damn echo! Damn echo! Damn echo! Bring you alibies!"  
  
Heero saw mirrors on the ceiling, and Duo guzzled gallons of pink champagne on ice, trying to muster up enough drunken courage to do something he'd wanted to for a while. Then Relena bounced into the room and yelled "we are all just prisoners here of our own device! PEACE! WE MUST HAVE PEACE! GIVE ME PEACE OR LEAVE ME IN PIECES!" Duo ran to the master's chambers, where they all gathered for a feast. Everyone stabbed Relena with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the peace. Last thing Duo remembered, he had grabbed Heero and ran for the door. He had to find the passage back to the place he was before...  
  
"Relax" said the nightman. "We are programmed to receive. You can check out any time you like, but-" Then Duo knocked him unconcious and ran out the front door, towards Heero's car. Heero jumped into the drivers seat, Duo dove into the passengers seat, and Heero quickly started up the car and began driving away.  
  
They found a place called Marge's Bar, Heero parked the car and they cautiously went inside, expecting something odd to happen again. Those who had stories were telling them, and Duo and Heero caught entertaining bits and pieces from around the room, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Then somebody fired the ol' jukebox up, and the song it played was a sad one. A guy with a nametag that read "Bubba", who was sitting at the bar, began to cry from the pain the song was inflictin'. It wasn't long before he jumped to his feet, just like somebody kicked him.   
  
Bubba went to his truck and got a .45, and when he returned, he shot the jukebox. He stopped the thing with just one shot... Most of the people in the bar knew Bubba aint never been accused of bein' mentally stable, and Duo and Heero caught on when they realized nobody drew an easy breath 'til he lay that colt on the table. Bubba hung his head 'til the cops showed up, who then dragged him right out of Marge's. They said, "Don't you play dumb with us, son, you know damn well what the charge is!" Bubba shot the jukebox that night. Said it played a sad song, made him cry... That's when he'd gone to his truck and got his .45. Bubba shot the jukebox that night.  
  
When the sheriff showed up with his bathrobe on, the confrontation was a tense one. He shook his head and said, "Those poor guys. They're stuck in a long compilation of songs... Oh, right, and Bubba! You was always a dense one! Reckless discharge of a gun is what the officers are claimin'." Bubba hollered out, "Reckless, hell, I hit just where I was aimin'!" Mark Chestnutt walked by at that exact moment and said, "He could not tell right from wrong through the teardrops in his eyes. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was a justifiable homicide."  
  
Duo and Heero interrupted the sheriff to ask what he had meant about the compilation of songs... "Simple. GWHAN got you into one of his fics again, and he's basically made you act out songs, in what he hopes will be a thoroughly entertaining way." Duo groaned. "I knew it! I knew something was wrong, here... Heero, we're in GWHAN's fic!" Heero nodded his head. "If we're in one of GWHAN's fics... Then we might as well make the best of it... And one good thing always happens in his fics." Duo blinked. "What?"  
  
'Well..." Heero began. "In GWHAN's fics... You always end up loving me back..." Duo's eyes went wide. "And that means you love me... Which means... Hey! This might not be so bad after all!" And then the two pilots held hands and wandered off into the sunset... Just then they realized that the sun was already down and Heero's car was the opposite way, so they had to turn around. By the time they got back to the car, Marge's was closed, so they went off to find a hotel with a name that did not include the word California.  
  
***The next morning***  
  
They woke up that morning, stumbled out of their racks, Duo opened up the paper to the page in the back. It didn't take him long for his finger to find his daily dose of destiny under his sign. "Hey, Heero!" He shouted, and his eyes just about popped out of his head. "This horoscope says the stars are stacked against me, boy, get back in bed!" Heero shrugged. "I feel lucky. I feel lucky, yeah. Aint no Professor Doom gonna stand in your way." Duo nodded his head. "Mmmm, I feel lucky today."  
  
They got dressed quickly, strolled down to the corner and gave Duo's numbers to the clerk. The pot was eleven million, so they both called in sick to work. Heero tried to buy a pack of camels, a burrito, and a root beer... But the clerk said he wasn't old enough to buy cigarettes, the burritos were stale, and they were out of root beer. They went outside, crossed against the light, and made a beeline for the park. The sky began to thunder, the wind began to moan, Duo heard a voice above him say, "Boy, you'd better get back home." Duo shrugged. "I feel lucky. Oh, oh, oh, I feel luckyyyy, yeah." Heero glared at the stormclouds. "No tropical depression gonna stand in your way." Duo grinned. "My line again, right, Heero?" Heero nodded his head. "I feel lucky today!"  
  
Eleven million later, they were sittin' at a bar, Duo bought the house a double and the waitress a new car. The cool country singer guy with the weirdo name I couldn't spell if my life depended on it was in the corner trying to catch Duo's eye, and Lyle Lovette (hope I spelled HIS right...) was right beside him, handless since Heero had shot both ofhis hands off when he hit on Duo. Just then, Mary Chapin Carpenter walked into the bar and sat down at Heero and Duo's table. "You two won 11 million too, eh?" Duo nodded his head. "You must have felt lucky today, I guess. The moral of the story? It's simple but it's true. Hey, the stars might lie, but the numbers never do!" Then Duo and Mary began singing together. "We feel lucky! Oh, oh, oh, we feel luckyyyyy, yeah!" Heero pulled a quarter from his pocket. "I think I'll flip a quarter, I'm a winner either way..." Then Mary and Duo continued singing. "We feel lucky today!"  
  
Duo grinned at Heero. "Mary's cool! Can she come with us?" Heero nodded his head. "Anything for you." Duo ginned. "Yay! Hmmm... Heero? I have one more question..." Heero blinked. "What?" "Well, why didn't you join us in singing about how lucky we felt? I mean, you were the luckiest one." Heero shook his head. "No, YOU were the one who won the 11 million. All I did was talk about Professor Doom and tropical depressions and stuff..." Duo sat in Heero's lap. "But you can have as much of the 11 million as you want... And... You've got the cutest guy on the planet for a boyfriend! Well, second cutest..." Heero raised an eyebrow. "Who's the cutest, then?" Duo pointed across the room.  
  
Heero blinked. "The old guy in the corner?" Duo shook his head. "No, look just to the left of him..." Heero followed Duo's pointing finger to a mirror where Heero's reflection was visible, and Heero grinned. "Nah. You're cutest." Duo shrugged. "Well, when you're right, you're right..." Heero snickered and quickly kissed the braided pilot. "HEEEY! This is Louisiana, we're gonna have to yell things at you in our comical hick voices and then try our best to kill you with our perfectly redneckified shotguns!" The bartender yelled, and Mary grabbed the two pilots and ran out the door, a small army of hillbillies right behind them.  
  
"Saturday night and the moon is out, I'm gonna head on down to the Twist and Shout, find a two-step partner and a Cajun beat, when it lifts me up I'm gonna find my feet." Mary sang. "Out in the middle of a big dance floor, when I kick their asses they're gonna beg for more, I wanna dance to a band from a-Lou'sian' tonight!" Mary hopped onto a passing riverboat, dragging Duo and Heero behind her. "Never have wandered down to New Orleans, never have drifted down a bayou stream, but when I heard that music on the radio, I swore some day I was gonna go!"  
  
Mary smirked as they drifted away from the side of the river so the following mob couldn't catch them. "Ya wanna dance to a band from a-Lou'sian' tonight? Well, we got a alligator stew and a crawfish pie, a gulf storm blowin' into town tonight... Livin' on the delta's quite a show, they've got hurricane parties every time it blows. Now, back up north, it's a cold cold rain, and there aint no cure for my blues today... 'Cept when the paper says Beausoleil is coming into town, baby let's go down... Saturday night, these boys just came out, we're all headin' over to the Twist and Shout. I'll find a two-step partner and a Cajun beat, when it lifts me up I'm gonna find my feet. Out in the middle of that big ol' dance floor, when I hear the fiddle, wanna beg for more, we're all a dancin' to a band from a-Lou'sian' tonight!"  
  
Mary turned to face Duo and Heero. "In fact... Bring your mama, bring your papa, bring your sister too... We'll have lots of music and lots of food. I'll have 'em play you a waltz from 1910, and you gonna feel a little bit young again. Well, you learned to dance with your rock and roll, you learned to swing with a do-si-do, but you're gonna c'mit your love at the fais-so-do, and we'll hear a little Jolie Blon!" Heero blinked. "Are you saying you're gonna get us married?" Mary nodded her head. "In Louisiana, of all places?" Heero asked. Mary replied once again with a nod of her head. Duo jumped up and down, then leapt into Heero's arms. "Great! I love it! A gay marriage in a very gay-unfriendly place! They'll hate it! Let's go!"  
  
And so Saturday night, when the moon was out, they made it down to the Twist and Shout. Mary found a two-step partner, played a Cajun beat, and Duo and Heero's parents had to find their feet. Duo and Heero were wed out in the middle of a big dance floor, by the good priest Johnny Moore. And... They all danced to a band form a-Lou'sian' that night...  
Or DID THEY??  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
...Unless the staff of FF.N gets all over my ass for trying to have some FUN. Btw, in the event of that happening, here's what I have to say. SCREW the plagiarism law, SCREW FF.N, SCREW anyone who ratted me out, and CLOD SCREW AMERICA! And in the event that that doesn't happen, I am now a firm believer that the people who run FF.N are actually good people. 


End file.
